Bye.....for now

Well, this is it. The last day in India. I am sitting by the window, the spot that quickly became my usual spot, looking out at the grey buildings. I remember my first morning here, looking out over these same buildings and the same pigeon, who has been keeping me company for 56 days.

Last night we went out and had a wonderful time with newfound friends. I wish so much we could have explored Bombay further, because I feel there is so much more to this city than just the grey, dirty buildings, trash and slums.

Looking back, I have met so many people and seen so much. India is far from the story book India so many of us need to imagine, but rather a mirror, reflecting all of humanity’s traits, including our own. I have cried and laughed, listened and spoken, seen and hidden.

The images of the children in Delhi and Mumbai will forever be in my mind and even this morning I wonder, worry, how these little unanimous ones are faring. But I also remember the smiles and kindness of total strangers who would come to my aid whenever I needed it.

My professor told me that India was a land of extreme opposites and it would simultaneously rip me apart and build me up. She was more right than I could ever have imagined.

To all who have supported, followed and encouraged me to complete this assignment, THANK YOU. I am not sure where this will take me but I hope to see you again India.

What to bring back?!

Whenever I have traveled or lived somewhere, I have always brought home with me some elements of the culture that I liked and our household is by now quite a collection of all my husband’s and my travels and experiences, both in cuisine, decorations and philosophies. East, west, north and south all come together, blended in a liberal and conservative setting. Yes, we have quite a household, but I love it.

This trip should be no different and I have already been searching the internet for spices and ingredients I will need for some of the delicious dishes and flavors I have been introduced to. Indians have a gift to take the most boring ingredients in the world (like lentils) and make them taste like the best dish on earth.

I have also found several attitudes and lessons in India I wish to emphasize stronger in our home. After our son David was born, I learned that true perfection lies in the ability to reach beyond perfection and live despite imperfection, or rather with imperfection. Incorporating it again into our household, our home.

That lesson has allowed me to bring back other elements from India. Here, you really need to look beyond the preconceived notions in your mind. If you had come here, expecting the “perfection”, some kind of experience of the India in the novels and gone-by days, you would have been immensely disappointed. India is nothing like your imagination, the story books. As we flew back in over Mumbai, the pilot gave his usual speech of weather conditions etc. and he started out by welcoming us to “Mumbai, the city of dreams”. I nearly chocked, wondering if he actually had visual contact or was flying blind only. Surely, he did not mean that this filthy, grey, trash and slum filled area sprawled out over miles and miles, was someone’s dream. It made me wonder about Bombay and the hopes and dreams of the people who live here. Even in the wonderful places we have visited, I have seen things that are so remote from the visions of “mystical India”.

If you had come here, expecting the “perfection”, the fortunate Westerner who has come to graciously save the poor people of India, they would have let you have your hallucination and you would have brought back nothing more than more building blocks to your pride.

If you had come here, expecting the “perfection”, seeking to be treated to the “experience of mystical India” you will get that, but in that case you bring nothing home with you. The “experience” is like cotton candy, worth nothing.

There is nowhere on earth you will be treated to the mystical experience we Westerners think we are entitled to, just because we can travel to far and distant places. This trip has reinforced my belief that nobody is entitled to anything! We like to think we are but in reality our place on earth is about duty, not self serving. Even in India.

When you come to India, you need to be able to see beyond "perfection". Leave your preconceived notions and pride and story books behind. It is just clutter taking up valuable space in your suitcase. The only thing you should bring with you is your willingness to share without needing something in return. Then, suddenly your suitcase will overflow with treasures.

Goa

For the first time while in India, I slept past 5 am and got up at 6:30. I haven’t felt this rested so long. We enjoyed a great breakfast buffet and then treated ourselves to a massage to the astounding price of $14. Nearly felt guilty.

Afterwards, we headed for the beach. The hotel is only about 200 m. from the beach and we had all these weeks looked forward to a long walk on the beach, a walk that is not interrupted by people, cars, dogs, trash, water, and anything else we have had to dodge. Just a walk.

We had no intentions of swimming in the ocean and that was a good thing too. During the monsoon season, the ocean gets really rough. Unfortunately, it also meant that it rained a lot. But, we still managed to walk for an hour, albeit a little interrupted by a minor shower. The Arabian Sea roared angry at us and once it got us really good. The beach meets the water at a fairly steep incline which means that the water is fairly deep close to the beach. It also means that the height of the waves can easily be misjudged and sneak up on you. Thank goodness it was warm and windy. It helped drying out.

During our walk, I saw fishermen casting their nets in this rough ocean. One man would stand on the beach while two others would run far out into the wild ocean with the nets. Along the beach, I saw straw huts made of palm leaves, the fishermen’s houses. I was again reminded of how easy my life is.

After a wonderful, but soaked, walk, we returned for some lunch and then headed out to see what Goa had to offer. We were prepared for off-season slack, but Goa completely shuts down during the day. There was nothing to do. When we arrived the night before, I saw a very different Goa, full of life and fun and I had looked forward to exploring that. We had also heard about renting some scooters and sightseeing that way, but unfortunately we didn’t get around to doing so. I wish we had had another day, but at the end of the day we enjoyed another great supper at the grill & bar and retreated for a short night. Our cab left for the airport at 5:00am next morning.

Last day of internship

Today is our last day of the internship!!! I can hardly believe I am writing these words. The last day. Looking back, there were days I felt like I was stuck in cold molasses and other times it went by so fast.

The last two days have gone by writing our final report. The weather was perfect for this task: it rained nearly non-stop. Unfortunately, Hanna got sick. Initially, it looked like she came down with whatever I had caught in Indore/Delhi, but then her stomach decided to join the party. I felt so bad for her; we had hoped so much to be able to make it through without any Delhi-Belly. At least she seems to be coming back on track.

We went in to the office for the last time today to go over our final report with them and it sounds like the liked it. And then it was time to say goodbye to so many wonderful people we have met.

Tonight, we headed to Goa. This is supposed to be a resort area and we decided a long time ago that we would treat ourselves for a day after 7 weeks of intense immersion. We landed at 6:30pm in a completely different India. Goa is an immensely beautiful area with gorgeous mansions and island huts tucked away in rich and lush vegetation and palm trees adding the final architectural touch.

From the airport we took a cab and an hour later, we reached our hotel. During our many travels here, we have already learned that booking a hotel is somewhat like playing Russian roulette. First of all, you prepay the hotels and they are non-refundable. At least the ones we have been in. So it is always a little “exciting” what hides behind door 220. But, just like in Delhi, we lucked out.

The Resort Terra Paraiso is a fabulous place at a very affordable rate. We have a wonderful clean room, a balcony with a table and two chairs and …..HOT water. All day. The grounds are really neat and host a bar & grill that serves really good chicken. Wow, just what we needed after 7 weeks. Unfortunately, we are only here one day, but we will make the most of that day tomorrow.

Wrapping it up

Today was an interesting day. We were invited to a (long!) meeting and were asked to explain our findings to not only the company we are interning with but also a director for another company and a trustee. But, I felt it went very well and we received a message later that they were very impressed!! YAY!

Afterwards, Hanna and I needed a little down town and we went to see the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. It is nothing less than spectacular. I did not take pictures inside, because naturally security is extremely tight, but if you are ever in Bombay, stop and take a look. It is so worthwhile. After having walked through nothing less than a mini-mall with all the exclusive name brands such as Dior, Louis Vuitton, Mochino etc, we decided to have a cup of coffee and cake. A quick look at the prices and we suddenly heard our favorite place in town, Leopolds, calling our names. Leopolds is just a short walk from there.

We splurged and took a cab back to Malad. It is still such a strange feeling to bargain for a cap fee, but it is worthwhile, unless you get a prepaid cab or a Meru cab. One thing about cabs in Bombay: you need to know how to get to your destination because 99% of the cab drivers and rikshaw drivers actually don’t know how to get there. This is such a strange concept for me, coming from a country where a cab is your sure way to get where you need to be. But here, they expect you to give them directions. They also see no problem in stopping for gas, mouth fresheners, bottle of water, bathroom break or any other errands they need while you are in the cab. It took us over 1.5 hour to get back. In a hot cab.

All in all, a good day. I am definitely so richly blessed.

Our first goodbye

Today we headed down to Utan to say goodbye to one of the fabric producers. Zia, Shameema, and their three kids will for always be in our memories and they have taught us so much. They managed to reach across the cultural barriers and explain some things that others left out. They treated us like family.

We also picked up some items they had specifically produced just for us and we were after another delicious Shameema lunch treated to fresh coconut water.

If everything goes according to schedule, today should have been the last day we took the trains. I will not miss it. I am so tired of being pushed and pulled in a way that resembles more a fighting ring than a public transportation method. If you are the unlucky one at the end of the line trying to get out of the train you have quite a fight ahead of you. By the time the first passenger has tried to get off the train, the 100 waiting on the platform have decided that they have excerpted enough patience and start pushing their way in. Good luck getting off. No, I will definitely not miss the commuter trains in Mumbai.

Tomorrow, we have a meeting with the president of the NGO we visited in Kutch. I should be getting some sleep but instead my head cannot rest, thinking about what to do with all the things I learned today.

And then there were 10 left

Unbelievable, we have only 10 days left in India!!

We have started writing our final report and looking back on all my notes and research I am amazed how much I have learned and accomplished in such a short time. There were times we really worried about our productivity, but it is now all coming together.

We also took some time this weekend to recover a little from last week’s strange trip and I am again so happy we have this apartment where we can just retreat, even if it was horribly expensive.

Upon much request (and with permission from our landlord), I have posted some pictures of our little haven. It has a room that functions as living room/dining room and entrance, one bedroom, two bathrooms and a kitchen. May not look like a lot, but it has done exactly what we needed, except for the water situation. Not sure what exactly is going on, but it seems like we have even less water since we came back from Indore, and yet Mumbai has not tightened the restrictions. In fact, they have been talking about opening up more water. Hm..

The little spigot a feet from the ground (last picture), right next to the stool has been my cold “shower” for the past nearly 7 weeks, except for the two warm showers I enjoyed in Delhi. I will not miss this aspect. But it has been good to have a place we could claim for ourselves and leave the strong impressions of India on the doorstep.

It is a strange feeling going into our last week here. Part of me cannot wait until I board the plane that will carry me back to my family and part of me feels I am not done here. I have learned so much in such a short time and just hope I will be able to do something useful with it all. For now, I just hope that I can leave something behind that can be useful for the phenomenal people I have met.

Broken hearted

How can I erase some if the things I have witnessed and should I? My heart hurts so badly and I can literally cry from just thinking about some of the things I see every day!!

The cobble stone work on the streets is done by some of the poorest and the whole family, including tiny babies and toddlers who can barely walk, all help out. A little boy, 5-7 years old had fallen and hurt himself. He was covered in cement and cried. Instead of loving care, his mother beat him. Repeatedly. Other, younger, children carried rocks that looked heavier than their tiny body weights. All they had was a tiny t-shirt, not even underwear.

I get sick to my stomach when I then hear and see "humble" people with noble life philosophies and principles they claim to live by and yet they cannot once set aside their need to be seen and heard, the need to be in focus, the need for attention, let alone help some of these “unwanted” without receiving glory for it. I am so tired of seeing and hearing the glory-hoggers, the fake, the imposters who only take but cannot give, unless they get some credit for it. You are like the cream on fresh milk; everybody wants it in the beginning, but quickly you get nauseating. All you are is fat, unhealthy to the body, clogging the arteries that supply the real good.

I left Delhi today with a heavy heart. This trip was fairly unproductive work wise, terribly expensive, and my heart is finally shredded. Who will help these little ones, tonight, tomorrow in the scorching heat?? I pray to my God for special angels over them and feel so helpless. What can I do?

The Red Fort

Well, we were in Delhi, couldn’t go to the Taj Mahal and it was 115F. This leg of our trip proved to be really challenging, but we decided to still go see some things and today we headed out to the Red Fort. What a rewarding experience!!

This 17th century fort is an amazing piece of architecture and history. It was originally built by the Mughals and functioned as the Mughal capital until 1857 when the British exiled the Mughal emperor and used the fort as a military camp.

Apart from the intense heat, we really enjoyed seeing the emperor’s quarters with the amazing detailed work and I can just imagine how beautiful the waterways must have been, connecting the various buildings.

After the fort, we wanted to see some of India famous open markets, but this turned out harder than expected. All we could find was an underground bazaar, which was really interesting, and shopping streets, but no open markets with spices and fabrics. Where did India of my imagination go?

The heat was really intense and after several pointless stops at various shopping areas, we headed back to the hotel. From there, we ventured out to the shopping area right around the hotel. In India, and Delhi, you can never be too careful, but I felt so comfortable there that I later ventured out on my own to look for something special.

It might not have been the trip we had envisioned, but at the end of the day we felt we were finally getting back on track again. Unfortunately, my sore throat was now a full fleshed cold and I felt miserably.

Delhi

Feeling a little defeated, we left Indore and caught our morning flight to Delhi. We hoped that our trip maybe would start turning around and decided to make the best of it.

Delhi had apparently not yet enjoyed the benefits of the monsoon and we landed in 115F heat! The best we could think of was renting an air-conditioned cab and see some things in Delhi before heading to the hotel.

This was a good idea, if the air-conditioning had worked. As Hanna put it, A/C stands in India for Almost Chilly. Nevertheless, we did get to go to a place we both really wanted to see: The Lotus Temple. This place reminds me so much of the Sydney Opera House by the Danish architect J Jørn Utzon. The temple is located on beautiful grounds and is really spectacular.

Afterwards, we drove around and saw the India Gate, The Monkey God and the beautiful presidential palace and we then headed to the tourist office to book our train tickets to Agra for the next day. We wanted to go and see the Taj Mahal. Consistent with the trip so far, we were out of luck and there were no more seats available on the train, but we could hire an expensive cab for $120!

By the late afternoon, the heat and the two previous days had taken their toll and we needed to head to the hotel. If you are even in Delhi, go stay at the Grand President Hotel in Karol Bagh. Don’t let the location deter you. Initially, you will wonder how quickly you can leave the area, but it all turned out fantastic. It is a great hotel at a reasonable price and the staff it so friendly. More importantly, it is clean!! We had for the first time in weeks a warm shower and it wasn’t long before we fell asleep.

A good night's sleep....right?

My mother always told me (yes, I actually listened) that things will look different after a good night’s sleep and she has so far been right. So, I woke up determined that it would be a good day. It would take much more than determination to make it through this day.

After a cold shower, because there is also no hot water, my throat felt like sandpaper but we decided to try some breakfast before heading out. After all the commotion last night, I figured they would be careful. No hair.

There was indeed no hair in our white, wonderbread-like substance that was smothered with a paste they called jam. To this delicacy, we enjoyed a glass of tap water neither of us dared to touch. But, it was eatable so we ate our breakfast, while 5 people stood around watching our every bite. We really were the only ones in the hotel.

The good news was that we noticed that the eating area had napkins and since our “deluxe” hotel room apparently did not come with toilet paper, well….

We headed out to the producer and maybe I haven’t been in India long enough, but the conditions under which some of the kids exist are so hard for me. The producer lives is a comparably well-to-do area and yet I saw a little boy, 10-12 years old, working on the street, welding with no protection.

We really enjoyed visiting with this producer too. Even though they didn't know for sure what to do with us, they were so kind and friendly. At the end of the day, they offered us to pick out blocks and design our own scarves and they printed and dyed them just for us. But, the cultural and language barrier was much greater here and we quickly figured that getting to our actual assignment would be very difficult. We tried carefully to open the conversation about inconsistency, but the door was very quickly closed. After a long day, we headed back to the hotel to a very confusing evening.
Very, very long story short, Hanna had by 11:30pm spent hours on the phone trying to figure everything out, but when we talked to the airline on the phone, they said we were flying out Wednesday morning but our email confirmation stated Thursday. Then suddenly, the hotel was apparently full and had no more room for us. What was going on???!!

The conclusion of all this confusion was that we were leaving Wednesday morning, missing out on visiting the producer, being in Delhi much earlier, and costing each of us nearly $100 in fees (after all the fees Hanna got reversed!). We were so tired, confused, and frustrated after two very difficult days. And then the power went out. Again.

Indore

What a day!

This morning, we left for Indore on a 6:30am flight, and after last night’s adventure with loud girls, I was looking forward to a night’s sleep, even if it was just a short one. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. After tossing and turning for nearly 2 hours, I started dozing of just to be awakened by the doorbell. I laid there wondering how wise it would be to open the front door, after midnight, in Mumbai.

Nevertheless, I decided to go look through the peep hole but didn’t see anybody. Then the phone rang. It was our landlord who kindly enough had printed out our etickets for us and wanted to make sure we had them. I found them on the outside of the door. After that, there was no going to sleep and I got up a 2:00am.

We had been advised to call a (Meru) cab to get to the airport and were told that we just needed to call about 15 minutes before we wanted to leave. When do I learn?? We called, and after the third attempt (and we were now 20 minutes later), we found out that the cab would at the soonest be there in half an hour, but the cab driver will call us to confirm when he arrived. He did call….. to get directions….in Hindi!! I neither know how to give directions to our apartment nor do I speak Hindi. So, we went downstairs to find our security guard sleeping and woke him up. We called the cab back and gave the phone to the security guard. This was a good idea, but then we ran out of minutes on the phone.

At least we made it to the airport just before 6:00am, just barely in time to check in. Everything went fine until we went through security and they found so many things wrong with our carry-on. After wanting to throw nearly everything out and the clock was nearly 6:30, someone told us we could still check in the bags. Great, we ran all the way back to the check in counter, checked in the bags and hoped and prayed they would make it. In good shape. Then we ran back to security and had to go through the whole security process again. Finally done, we ran clear across the airport to gate 11, the gate we had been told us to go to, just to find it to be the flight for Hyderabad. She told us to go back to the exact area we just came from.

After this morning workout, we made it just in time through the boarding gate, got on the bus and drove less than 100 meters to the airplane!! Never encountered anything more pointless.
Once on the plane, someone had taken my seat so I told them that it was my seat. They just looked at me and pointed to the seat in front and said I could sit there. That was it!! I told them “No! That is my seat and I want to sit there!” Perturbed they moved and I found myself nearly two hours next to a man who had no qualms about passing really stinky gas! Ugh.

After a brief stop in Bophal, we arrived in Indore and were so relieved to see our bags, even in somewhat good shape and with all our belongings in them. Then we headed outside to look for Mustakim, the son of the fabric producer we were to visit, but found no Mustakim. So we waited, and waited, while we still had no more minutes on our phone. After founding out that there were no pay phones at the airport, we borrowed a phone from a gentleman and got hold of our supervisor who told us that she was sorry but she had forgotten to call him!! She had us write down directions to his place and we were supposed to take a cab. Frustration was setting in, but nothing to do about it than to try to head out.

So, we took the cab and Indore is very different. Apart from the numerous cows and goats, we also saw wild boars, camels, and even an elephant down the street. We reached the fabric producer and he was really nice, but seemed to have no idea what we had come to do. We also quickly found out that there was going to be a significant language barrier.

He took us to a hotel so we could get rid of our bags and I have no way to describe the experience. Even though the hotel was amazingly quiet, the only rooms available were the expensive Deluxe rooms (yeah right!) and it was so incredibly dirty. The sheets had shoe prints and hair all over them, there was long, dark hair and dirt all over the floor and the toilet; oh my goodness! And surprise, surprise, the internet is not working in the room. In fact, it wasn’t working at all.

I called the front desk and told them we needed fresh sheets and some more towels. A few minutes later, 2 guys show up with two sheets and started working on Hanna’s bed. We sat on my bed watching the nearly humerous show of two guys taking 15 minutes to put one sheet on and yet leaving the dirtiest one on!! Half an hour and more explaining later, our beds were finally done. We then set out to try to clean the room with some of the sheets they had left and then headed back to the producer.

After a long day, we returned to the hotel and decided to order some coffee through room service. I ordered plain hot coffee and Hanna had a cold coffee with ice cream. What could possibly go wrong? The moment I took the lid of my coffee a stench of sour milk singed my nostrils and Hanna at this point found a hair in her coffee!! I called the front desk to make sure it was not going to be on my bill and for the next half hour, I found myself somewhere between a soap opera and insanity institution!! They had no idea what I wanted, and had no idea what “hair” meant. Really??!!! In a country with such obsession with hair, you don’t know what the word means? After several nearly funny minutes, we finally settled that I should just talk to the manager.

If that had only been it. After a few minutes, the phone rang, someone from the front desk wondering why I had not signed the bill for the coffee. This process repeated itself until I had spoken to 6 different people, none of which spoke English! Nobody seemed to understand what hair was! “Do you want to check out?” NO!!!! I just don’t want to pay for a coffee with hair in it, you know, the stuff on your head, the stuff you use shampoo for!! Sigh…….. And in the meanwhile, my throat is so sore again. The final punch came when the last guy called and was wondering if I was asking for hair removal product!

The phone finally quit ringing and we desperately needed some rest, at least, so we thought. At 11:00pm, the doorbell (yes, they had door bells on the hotel rooms) rang. It was the other manager with someone else, wondering if everything was ok. There I stood in my Betty Boop pj’s and not particularly very amused anymore, but I managed to say yes, I think I smiled and finally, they left. Then the power went out. Again.

Just another weekend

Tomorrow morning we are flying out at 6:30am to Indore to visit another fabric producer for nearly a week. We have started getting a picture of the various aspects to the problem and I look forward to hearing what his perspective is.

The weekend was fairly uneventful here, except when we frightened two very loud girls last night. Around midnight, we hear yelling, squeeling, talking, laughing and lots of noise going on. After a while, we had had it and went out into the hallway to see where it was coming from. It turned that a couple of girls (10-12 years old) were riding their bike indoors two floors down and had apparently had no idea that some people actually try to sleep around that time. So, we went down stairs in our (Betty Boop) pj's and told them in no uncertain terms to be quiet. I guess we must have looked very scary because when I told them in the motherly I-have-had-it tone to "No really, hush!" they looked terrified and when Hanna finished it with a "Hush, go to bed!" they screamed. Maybe it is time for new pj's.

The rest of the weekend went with writing reports and preparing for the upcoming trip. It is so hard to pack when you don't know anything about where you will be going or staying, but I guess that is part of the adventure. Hopefully this time we have internet.

Great way to end the week

Well, it might have rained a bunch, but not bad enough to prevent us from going to Utan today. After the usual insane train ride, we caught the bus to Utan and found ourselves in the middle of several of the “fish women” we had so dearly been warned about. A little apprehensive about making any wrong face at the tub of fish with a wet fish rag dripping on my jeans leg, I took my place standing right by a group of 8. As the bus darted through the narrow streets filled with people and other obstacles, I hung on, not for dear life, but for fear of landing in the bowl of fish! I would surely be dead, or would I?

I carefully looked at the women’s faces. On my right were two older women, clearly affected by the rough life they had lived. To my left were two younger women, just getting started in the business. As they sat there chatting and laughing as young school girls I couldn’t help but to wonder what they would have wanted out of life. Surely not the end result I observed earlier to my right. They caught me looking at them and smiled the most beautiful smiles at me.

As one woman got off the bus, I was quickly offered a seat. “Offered” might not be the right word, more “told” to sit! Just like on the sleeper train, my legs do not fit in standard Indian busses and I had to sit sideways with my legs into the aisles. This raised enough interest and I was told to sit straight. I explained I did not fit and that caused enough new interest in this stranger, but only in the friendliest manner. These must have been different fish women than we were warned about. By the way, all this “chit chat” went on with none of us speaking one single word of the other’s language.

We reached the fabric producer and had the most wonderful afternoon. We talked much about the problems with the fabrics, were treated to another phenomenal Shameema dinner. She had again made chicken, but this time curry chicken and puri (poori), a deep fried chapatti.

After some more talks, we went to see the Global Pagoda, a monumental Buddhist meditation center. It is still under construction but enough of the construction is completed to get an idea about this project.
The entire area is built with no concrete, but carved out rocks that interlock. In the middle is an enormous area intended for thousands to gather and meditate. In the ceiling is a golden Dharma under (above) which are buried the physical remains of Buddha. It was a very beautiful sight.

We normally would take the bus and train back, a nearly 2 hour trip if all goes well. Shameema had once before mentioned a boat that supposedly was only 5 minutes from Malad West, were we live. The Global Pagoda was right by the docks and the weather was fair, so we decided to give it a try.

All the times we have gone to Utan, why in the world have we never gone by boat??!! It was indeed a 5 minute boat ride and from the time we left until we were in the apartment only took half an hour. We are hoping to visit with them one more time before we leave and, weather permitting; we are so taking the boat!

It was a wonderful day. We learned so much, got so much information verified and enjoyed the wonderful company of a really great family.